Insomniac Hairdresser

I've never....

Thanks so much Dave for the inspiration.  I was feeling so uninspired these days.  So pardon me if I use my comment from your blog.

Things I have never done:

I've never smeared my toe jam into the grilled cheese of a friend.

I've never gotten a "weave".

I've never played the banjo while having my back rubbed by a man in a kilt.

I've never sewn a dress for my grandpa.

I've never given ipecac to my cat. (or any other animal for that matter.)

I've never purchased and/or owned ipecac

I've never had spam pie.

I've never dove head first into a vat of nacho cheese.

I've never served grapes to a man on death row.

Man, there are so many things out there awaiting me.  So much to do and so little time.  What have YOU never done????

The Bachelor Sucks

Did I mention that this really is the stupidest show on earth?  I try so hard not to watch it, but Monday night is really down time for me so I end up catching it from time to time.  I ended up catching about 2 or so episodes and the finale.  No I am not lying, I swear I didn't watch any more than that.

First of all, what complete jack ass said HEY!  Lets start a show to convince people to get married in four weeks?  THEN, find a whole bunch of other jackasses to participate.  Marriage should be a little more sacred than this.  ARe we resorting to arranged marriages now?  (not that there's anything wrong with it....)  If they would have sold this show as a "dating" show...or a "Looking for love" show or something, it would be more entertaining.  But to even consider marrying some freak you just met on a tv show?  Come On.  Not to mention they plant you in the most fantastic of places with rose petals, and froo froo stuff.  Gifts and money and limo's.  Geez, I could fall in love with that alone.

As a female, I do not want to even consider dating a guy that is about to make out with 14 other chicks on national television.  Uh, mortifying?  I just really don't get it.  (Then get to watch it with Gramma Georgina and Aunt Ruffina later...)

THEN on top of that, they always lead you to believe they are going to pick the "good one" or the lesser of two evils if you will.  But like on the recent one, Charlie (i think?) picks the complete whiny butt, bossy ass dip shit.  Congratulations with all that.  Hope she whines and complains and bitches and moans yourselves into a happy existence.  Whats going to happen when her shoe comes untied, or the toilet paper roll isn't replaced?  I fear the wrath. 

Sorry, i just really had to get that off my chest.  Its really been bothering me and really hindering the digestion of most of the meals I have had since.  I think I will feel much better now.

Pam's Anderson's Blog

Okay guys, everybody knows I love Pam!  She now has a blog writing about the production of her new show Stacked.  Give it a read and hopefull she will keep it up!!!!

Oh, the trauma

ah, bathing suit shopping.  the shock and the trauma and pure awe in the very nature of it.  have you ever felt pretty cute before you actually got into the lovely fluorescent lighting that made your ass look the size of Africa and your thighs look like a hilly road map or the Appalachian mountains?   well i have.  my mom always says, "if you can't lose it, tan it..."  so i proceeded to go to the tanning bed and tan the everloving bejesus out of myself and THEN go bathing suit shopping!  Let me tell you!  It works!

BUT i found so many cute suits....i filled my cart with about 25 and spent two hours trying them on.  i was actually excited when one didn't fit right because i could eliminate it from the pile. brown and pink!  pink orange and white!!  blue and black!!! purple and white!  OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!  I wound up only getting four, but i had to call a friend for advice....CANCUN in one more week!!!  Here I come!

I have been dieting like a mad woman and working out like a banshee.  No more carbs until Mexico....and then its allll carbs...beans rice tortillas and lots and lots of cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I bought capris, and suits and shoes and tops and chopsticks for my hair...i bought sunscreen and towels and even little bleachy things for my teeth.  i guess i am just traumatized because i am getting older and its becoming so hard to keep up with these damn young hot girls.  things are a little harder in your 30's ya know?  Eat two rice cakes, run for three hours.  just to MAINTAIN your weight.....

i have been trying to maintain my boot camp work out, but i tell you, it really is close to impossible.  without a drill instructor yelling over me its hard to push myself.  but i am a little better than i was.  today i ran for 20 minutes, did a 20 minute fully body quickie work out, did 300 crunches and took an hour Pilate's class.  just for kicks.

I also have a sinus infection and that is really pissing me off.  but hopefully it will be gone by CANCUN...............

After this half a soma and 4 beers i should be ready to sleep.  guess i will be back if i can't!!!.....

just fantastic!

I can't complain.  Things are going so nicely right now.  The whirlwind storm is now over and things are dying down finally.  well, sort of, in MY world they are but others still might have a heart attack looking at my schedule.  but i love it.  my cosmetics line......introducing:

heavenly cosmetics

is going well.  i am almost sold out of my new shipment.  so please write me and want to buy lots of stuff.  please.

the fashion show went fantastic, miami went fantastic.  i am now part of Aquage haircare....no more Alterna.  more on that later. 

just wanted you guys to know...more posts will be coming now!  i have hired a new assistant now so my load will be lighter :)

now for the bad news.  i am sooooo freakin tired i can barely see straight.  i think i am going to fall right to sleep!  well, that was the good news.  the bad news is i am going to bed now!  don't miss me too much.

kisses....mwah!