Insomniac Hairdresser

Freedom of Speech

We have freedom of speech.  Thats fantastic.  And also untrue.  Jesus, we can't say ANYTHING!  Are you kidding?  Simon tells a guy who sings Cher like a girl that he should wear a dress and the whole world comes apart at the seams.  Certain groups don't like the way Cheney "Worded" his mishap in the woods.  What???  Word it yourself you moron.  Get a clue.  If YOU want the right to freedom of speech, then you ALSO have the right to shut the hell up when other people are using the same right.  I am so sick of people driving around WAAHHHmbulances because someone uses a WORD they don't like. 

Take the word Retarded for example.  I use the word retarded all then time.  You know, I'm Retarded!  Or damn, I am NOT freakin retarded....Whatever.  I am not verbally abusing people with mental disabilities.  The word retarded means slow or limited in intellectual or emotional capabilities.  So when I do something completely retarded, it means that my actions were limited in intellectual capabilities or my emotional capability was hindered.  Or if I complain to someone, I AM NOT RETARDED, it just means at that moment my intellectual capabilities are in their prime and I have not been slowed down by my thinking process. 

If you use the word homo, you are not bashing the entire community of gay people.  Really more than anything it just means your lazy because you don't wanna say the whole word.  I am sorry, just call it like you see it and let other people do the same.  You have the right to NOT get offended or to just simply ignore.  Jeez, everyone is so freakin pampered in this country.  Nobody has any balls. 

So, yeah, Get Balls.  Call me a bimbo, like I freakin care :)

Sick n Tired a' being Sick and Tired

For the love of God.  I am a giant snot rag.  I can't even open my eyes without them watering.  I have to drive around with one eye closed.  I can't breath!  I have taken Dayquil, Nyquil, Sudafed, Robitusson, Thera Flu anything that will unclog my head. I don't even know if I have a cold or the flu or what, but it sucks major ass.  Now I am at the part where your throat just itches and itches and you cough and cough and cough.  I want to cry and scream.  Quick....get me a Waahhhhhmburger and some French Cries!!!!  I swear I have coughed up parts of my gall bladder.  How long will this last?  Apparently forever.  (or three days.)

Two Good Newses and one Bad

Good News #1:  LONGHORNS WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YEAH BABY!  ST VINCE DOES IT AGAIN!

Good News #2:  I won the College Bowl Pick ems!  Thank you very much.  Another 30 bucks for my pcoket.  And more bragging rights for all the guys who continue to give me shit about my mad football skills!

Bad News #1  I have the absolute worst hangover ever.  This pounding in my head feels like thousands of oompah loomphas dancing about.  And I am so sickkkkk to my stomach.  Can you say naseous?  (sp??)  Barf and gag.  Apparently I had bragging rights on how many beers I could drink while the Longhorns played.  Real smart, sissy pants.  Now I don't even remember the end of the game.  I had to be reminded they won when I woke up.  Then I looked through all the pictures on my digital and apparently I had a fantastic time.  And at one point was covered in champagne.  This my friends, is bad news.

The Bachelor Sucks

Did I mention that this really is the stupidest show on earth?  I try so hard not to watch it, but Monday night is really down time for me so I end up catching it from time to time.  I ended up catching about 2 or so episodes and the finale.  No I am not lying, I swear I didn't watch any more than that.

First of all, what complete jack ass said HEY!  Lets start a show to convince people to get married in four weeks?  THEN, find a whole bunch of other jackasses to participate.  Marriage should be a little more sacred than this.  ARe we resorting to arranged marriages now?  (not that there's anything wrong with it....)  If they would have sold this show as a "dating" show...or a "Looking for love" show or something, it would be more entertaining.  But to even consider marrying some freak you just met on a tv show?  Come On.  Not to mention they plant you in the most fantastic of places with rose petals, and froo froo stuff.  Gifts and money and limo's.  Geez, I could fall in love with that alone.

As a female, I do not want to even consider dating a guy that is about to make out with 14 other chicks on national television.  Uh, mortifying?  I just really don't get it.  (Then get to watch it with Gramma Georgina and Aunt Ruffina later...)

THEN on top of that, they always lead you to believe they are going to pick the "good one" or the lesser of two evils if you will.  But like on the recent one, Charlie (i think?) picks the complete whiny butt, bossy ass dip shit.  Congratulations with all that.  Hope she whines and complains and bitches and moans yourselves into a happy existence.  Whats going to happen when her shoe comes untied, or the toilet paper roll isn't replaced?  I fear the wrath. 

Sorry, i just really had to get that off my chest.  Its really been bothering me and really hindering the digestion of most of the meals I have had since.  I think I will feel much better now.

Horrible blogger

yes i am a horrible blogger...haven't blogged in forever.  but i just want you  to know, i am busy.  busy right now.  like doing stuff.  LOTS of stuff.  haven't had much time to chit chat.  had a photo shoot today.  went well, all is good.  show is coming up in two weeks.  must work harder.

jeez......i blow right now.  sorry guys, i will be back momentarily

OOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW

JESUS.   New Skin freakin sux.  It burns like hell!  Has anyone noticed this?  I want to cuss people out right now.  If you were here right now I would kick you in the nuts.  Hard.  And if you didn't have any to start with, I could split ya a pair if you know what I mean!  oooooowwwwwwwwwwww......wahhhh

For those of you wondering....my elbows are skinned raw from "Belly Crawling" up a 150 foot hill.  Stomach and butt down the whole time.  If you lifted it once it was back down the hill and start again.

If you are interested in reading the rest of my trials....go to

www.heavenshaven.blogspot.com

Cheese for Attitude

Absolutely when your attitude is piss poor you should have a toasted cheese sandwich.  I had an awful day, dealt with crappy people, dealt with stupid people, spent too much money, bit my tongue, spilled coffee on my white shirt, hit my head on a door, dropped my last bite of a truffle on the floor, found something rotten in my fridge (stinky!), spilled a bowl of color, got a papercut, left one running shoe at home, and burnt the ever loving crap out of my mouth with an exorbitantly friggin hot cup of coffee.

So now I am sore, mad, bleeding and there are skin chunks curling off the roof of my mouth.  I am unhappy.  So I decided I should have a cheese sandwich.  I marched my pissy little ass into the kitchen.  I got a Hoagie roll, applied butter, garlic salt and parmesan...toasted lightly in the oven.  Then i put pieces of Gruyere cheese, cheddar and velveeta on each half, then i toasted it again.  Till the cheese is all nice a bubbly.  Then i jammed the two pieces together and proceeded to scarf.  And POOF!  Attitude gone!  Now I feel like playing in a field with puppies.  And kitties.  Quick, where are my mittens?

Cab and Shuttle Rides

Did I mention I freakin HATE cab rides?  And shuttles to for that matter.  What the hell is wrong with these people?  If they really enjoy driving that fast and recklessly then maybe the cab profession should be skipped. I mean I could be killed.  This world would never have been the same had I been killed.

I am in Chicago right now and took a cab from downtown to Rosemont ( a suburb)   boy was this a mistake.  Guess that is what I get for thinking the train took too long.  I swear to god we got up to 100 miles and hour on a straightaway.  My heart was fluttering and my life was flashing before my eyes.   I was just pissed that this guy did not realize my life was in his hands...I was trying to trust him, but instead I wanted kick him. Hard. Like in the nuts.  Never ever do that.  Do not drive like a bat out of hell when I am in the car. That is my job.  Was he in a hurry to get back to Zimbabwe?  Someone needs to give these people some zanax.  I would have tipped him more if he would not have driven so poorly.  He sucks.  I hate him.  For all you shuttle drivers out there, too. Slow the *uck down. Okay?  You have a giant freakish vehicle that sways to and fro. and rocks and stuff.  And I just imagine myself like a kid rolling down a hill in a barrel.

So stop it.